Let us be honest before the how-to: a relaxer is a permanent chemical process that breaks the internal bonds of your hair, and it cannot be undone, only grown out. Done carefully, and cared for properly, relaxed hair can look sleek and healthy for years; done carelessly, it is the fastest route to breakage and chemical burns there is. So this guide leads with the safety and the honest trade-offs, then the method, then the aftercare that actually decides whether your hair thrives or snaps. If you are on the fence, the biggest decision is whether to do it at a salon (strongly recommended) or at home at all.

What relaxing actually does to your hair

Hair is keratin protein held in shape by disulfide bonds. A relaxer's alkaline chemistry breaks those bonds so the curl pattern relaxes into a straighter shape, then the neutraliser re-fixes the hair in its new form. Because you have permanently altered the internal structure, relaxed hair is more porous, drier and more fragile than virgin hair, which is exactly why the aftercare section below matters more than the application. There is no reversing it; you grow out the relaxed length and the new growth comes in with your natural texture.

The three types of relaxer

• Lye relaxers (sodium hydroxide): fast and effective, and the harshest, they can irritate or burn the scalp if left too long or applied to broken skin. Usually salon territory.
• No-lye relaxers (calcium hydroxide + guanidine carbonate): gentler on the scalp, the common at-home choice, but they leave more mineral deposit and tend to dry the hair, so a clarifying and deep-conditioning routine matters more.
• Thio relaxers (ammonium thioglycolate): milder chemistry, slower to work, often used for looser textures. Not to be combined with other relaxer types.

How relaxing is done (touch-up method)

After the first relaxer, every subsequent application is a touch-up on new growth only. Overlapping onto already-relaxed hair is the single most common cause of breakage, so this is the rule that protects your hair long-term.

1. Prep and protect: do not shampoo for a day or two before (natural oils shield the scalp), then apply petroleum jelly along the hairline, ears and any sensitive spots.
2. Section: four clean sections for control.
3. Apply to regrowth only: spread the relaxer along the new growth near the roots, stopping short of previously relaxed hair. Work quickly and methodically.
4. Time strictly: follow the kit exactly, and never exceed the maximum, over-processing is irreversible damage. Smoothing gently near the end helps, but watch the clock over the mirror.
5. Rinse thoroughly, then neutralise: rinse with lukewarm water until clear, then use the neutralising shampoo fully, it stops the chemical reaction and rebalances pH. Skipping or skimping here means the relaxer keeps working and damages hair.
6. Deep condition immediately: a protein-and-moisture treatment right after neutralising is part of the process, not an afterthought.

Aftercare: where relaxed hair is won or lost

This is the half that decides everything. Relaxed hair is drier and weaker, so:

• Deep condition weekly, alternating protein treatments (strength) with moisture masks (flexibility), the balance keeps hair from either snapping or going mushy.
• Wash gently and sulphate-free: sulphates strip the moisture relaxed hair cannot spare. A gentle, moisturising wash is essential, not optional.
• Minimise heat: your hair is already chemically straightened, piling on daily heat is double jeopardy. When you do use heat, always a protectant, always moderate.
• Low tension, always: tight styles pull on fragile relaxed hair at the weakest point, the line between relaxed and new growth. Loose styles, satin at night.
• Trim every 6 to 8 weeks to remove the split, weakened ends before they travel.
• Space touch-ups 6 to 8 weeks apart, and never colour within two weeks of relaxing, two chemical processes too close together is how hair breaks off.

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A sulphate-free, moisture-rich wash-and-condition pairing made for textured and chemically processed hair, gentle cleansing that will not strip relaxed strands, with conditioning slip for safer detangling. Vegan and UK-made.

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Frequently asked questions

Is relaxing hair safe?

Done correctly, on healthy hair and scalp, with patch and strand tests and proper aftercare, it is widely used safely. The risks, burns, breakage, come from over-processing, overlapping and skipping neutralisation. A salon reduces all three.

How often can I relax my hair?

Touch-ups on new growth only, every 6 to 8 weeks at most. More frequent, or re-relaxing old hair, causes breakage.

Can I colour relaxed hair?

Wait at least two weeks after relaxing, and treat it as a big ask on already-processed hair, ideally professionally, with deep conditioning around it.

Will relaxing damage my hair?

It permanently weakens the structure, so some vulnerability is inherent. Good technique and diligent moisture-and-protein aftercare keep it healthy and shiny despite that.

What is the difference between a relaxer and a keratin treatment?

A relaxer permanently breaks bonds to straighten; a keratin/smoothing treatment temporarily coats and smooths, washing out over weeks. Keratin is the reversible, lower-commitment option.

Relaxing is a real commitment with real rewards and real risks: understand the permanence, respect the chemistry, relax only new growth, and pour your effort into the moisture-and-protein aftercare. Do that, and sleek can also be healthy, for a gentler route to smoothness, see our guides on rescuing dry hair and caring for afro and textured hair.